Realizations Having To Do With Boggarts And The Answer No

I have recently come to two realizations in my life.

The first has to do with fear.  You see ever since I learned of boggarts in the wonderful world of Harry Potter I have always thought about what a boggart would turn in to for me. I've always had the question "What if you don't know what your greatest fear is?"  I always new mine wasn't anything like spiders or even Snape, and I always wished that Boggarts actually existed cause then I could find out what my greatest fear really was.  While this thought wasn't all that important in my life I've never really have been able to get rid of it.  But just recently another thought popped into my head, and I realised that the thought was quite accurate.  I realized that alot of the time my greatest fear was reality.

Now I'm not exactly sure what shape reality would take if I ever were to cross paths with a boggart, but that's not really important. The important part is that I finally have some kind of answer for the question I've had for such a long time.

Now let me explain what I mean by my greatest fear is reality. 

I have always been one to dream big. I am always, always making stories and moments and memories up.  I don't think my imagination has ever stopped creating things, ever.  And when I create these stories in my mind I get so attached to them, to the emotions, and the loyalties, and the dreams that go along with them.  They are the things that make every day of my life exciting.  And I do feel that those stories, and the ridiculous amount of blessings God has given me, are what has made my life so happy.  They are the reason that I try not to get upset about the little things, the stories make me realize that the little thing don't matter so much.  They are the reason that I am so much less angry than I used to be, and they are the reason that I never really have been depressed about anything.(don't get me wrong I've been upset lots of times, I just haven't REALLY been depressed)  God has blessed me so much with giving me these stories to get by each day, and he has blessed me with so many things, and people to inspire those stories so that they never end.

While I do realize that I live everyday in the real world, and I know that those stories are just that, stories.(don't worry I'm really not as crazy as you think) I still fear losing them, I fear waking up one day and realizing that the world is an ugly place, that the real world never goes along with the one I've created in my head. I'm afraid that I'll come to the conclusion that none of my dreams will ever come true. I'm afraid of losing my thoughts and dreams and creativity, and I'm afraid of losing my outlook on the world.   And I guess in a large part I'm afraid of losing who I am.  I love being the artsy type, I love that while I understand the importance of reason, and use it in my decisions, reason isn't the only or(at least not always) the most important thing I use to make decisions.  I love seeing the world through the eyes of my imagination, not the eyes of logic and reason and reality.  I love that I can see the beauty and the wonder of something that so many people write off as weird and something from a crazy person.  I love being my own unique person in my own unique world and I never wanna lose that.

Secondly after having a conversation with my father about one of my latest schemes for my life he said a very common phrase to me that brought me to my second conclusion.  I never do take no for an answer.  At least I never take no to actually mean no.  When I hear "No" I really hear "That won't work out" and then I figure out why it won't work out and then I try and fix the parts that won't work so that "No" turns to "Yes" or "That will work out."  While I feel like this will help me for alot of things in life I know that now it really frustrates my parents and is something I should probably work on... hm.


lastly, I am now going to start reading Alice's Adventure's In Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass. We have a really old version of it, and I'm really excited about what I will think of it!

Well, I'm off to go see what I can do about turning that previously mentioned "No" into a "Yes"

Goodbye Leaves, Pumpkins, and Rain. Hello Snow, Hot Chocolate, and Christmas!

Well, the time has come.  As it does every year, fall has passed away and winter has set in.   It's so clear and exciting as I sit here with my newly purchased Celtic Thunder Christmas CD playing and a unusual amount of snow outside my window! I have had an amazing fall this year and I am so excited about the winter to come... a few days ago the next months did not seem inviting at all but now with all the winteryness around me and an amazing fall behind me I am really looking forward to the next couple of months.

I have had an absolute fantastic fall this year.  While the weather was depressingly sunny, and I really did miss the rain there still has been a ton to rejoice about!! I started my very last year of school at home, something I have been dreaming about for a VERY long time!  I sometimes think I should be kinda sad about that, but in all honesty, I'm not.  Don't get me wrong I have LOVED being homeschooled and wouldn't change that at all, but I am also very excited about going to college, especially for fashion. I've been thinking about college ever since I was an eight year old little girl and couldn't go to private school with my neighbors, the plan has always been that if I couldn't go to private school then I'd go to college and do running start just like my older siblings!

I also turned sixteen this fall, and I happily got to celebrate that with my best friend coming to stay with me for the week.  That was great fun and we had alot a grand time taking lots of pics, walking the dogs, and visiting Seattle.

  

 And that's not all that has happened this fall.  I got to go see Celtic Thunder live for my very first concert, and I got to go to that with both of my best friends, the two people that I would want most to accompany me to that first concert.

Also, we got my new best friend, a new dishwasher.  If you are very close to me and have spent time with me at my house you know just how exciting that is! It was quite the hassle getting a dishwasher that actually works, but it was SO worth it to get one. I am still in heaven about it.

And most exciting of all, this fall I became an aunt to two adorable twin boys named Adam and Oliver.  They are the first babies of the Spears family and we are all so very excited about it.

Yes, yes they are the most adorable twin boys you have ever seen!

And now, as I have bid fall adieu, I say a hearty hello to my favorite season of all, winter.

And it has already turned out to be an exciting season!!!  It's already unusually cold and snowy, and I already have some great memories of this winter.  Like me and my dad being two of only four people crazy enough to go see Harry Potter 7 in the middle of a snow storm, watching the last showing before they closed the theater all together. Like sledding down my driveway on a laminated piece of poster board, and like waking up to 24 degree weather and ice on the INSIDE of my window.  Not to mention the all around winter feel in the air. I love it all. 

And now, a wintery song/poem to send you off with.

Oh! pat, the bitter day when you bravely parted from us,

The mother and myself on the cruel quays of Cork :

When you took the long kiss, and you gave the faithful promise

That you'd soon bring us over wid you at New York

But the times they grew worse through the sild, weary winter,

And my needles all we had to find livin' for us two ;

While the mother drooped and drooped till I knelt down forenint her

And closed her dyin' eyes, dear--but still no word of you.

The the neighbors thought you false to me, but I knew you better,

Though the bud became the leaf, and the corn began to start ;

And the swallow she flew back, and still sorra letter,

but I sewed on and on, Pat, and kep' a stout heart.

Till the leaves they decayed, and the rook and the starlin'

Returned to the stubble, and I'd put by enough

To start at long last in search of my darlin'

Alone across the ocean so unruly and rough.

Until at the end, very weak and very weary,

I reached the overside, and started on my search ;

But no account for ever of Patrick for his Mary,

By advertisin' for you, dear, or callin' you in church.

Yet still I struggled on, though my heart was almost broken

And my torn entirely on the rough, rugged stone ;

Till that day it came round, signs by and by token,

The day five year that we parted you, mavrone!

Oh ! the snow it was sweepin' through the dark, silent city

And the cruel wind it cut through my thin, tattered gown.

Still I prayed the good God on his daughter to take pity ;

When a sudden, strange light shone forenint me up the town.

And the light it led on till at last right opposite

A large, lonely house it vanished, as I stood,

Wid my heart axing wildly of me, was it, oh, was it

A warnin' of ill or a token of good ?

When the light kindled up agin, brighter and bigger,

And the shadow of a woman across the windy passed ;

while close, close, and closer to her stole a man's figure,

And I fainted, as you caught me in your true arms at last.

Then Pat, my own Pat. I saw that you were altered

To the shadow of yourself by the fever on the brain !

While "Mary, Mary darlin'," at last your lips the faltered,

You've given your poor Patrick his mem'ry back again."

And the good, gentle priest, when he comes, is never weary

Of sayin', as he speaks of that light in the snow,

"The Lord heard your prayer, and in pity for you, Mary,

Restored Pat the raison that he lost long ago."



Windstorms

I would like to say that I have a very special place in my heart for windstormes. :) ...and rain, thunder, lighting, or anything else that goes along with it... I have a feeling I wouldn't like tornados as much but who knows!!

Anyway, I just through and through love them!  I love the sound of the wind whislting through the tree branches, I love the periodic clunks of the branches hitting my cealing, I love the excitment of your lights flickering on and off, or the excitment of having no power whatsoever! And of course the thrill you get everytime a powerful gust of wind shoves its way through the trees(often times knocking them over) :D It's excitment and it's comfort! Yeah thats right comfort!  When I hear these sounds, when I feel that wind, and when I see those branches dancing back and forth in the wind it makes me feel home, and it makes me feel save. (Huh ironic right as I wrote this I heard a very large abnoraml crashing sound outside...uh oh..thats a siren..o.O) It's my favorite thing about the change of a season, and happilly it happens almost everytime the seasons start to change around here. It makes me love where I live and it makes me sad when I hear that wind soften away for good. It's simply the most wonderful time of the year!  (bahahaha Christmas reference!!! ...yeah I know I'm not funny but laugh along anyway..you know you want to.)

AH! THERE IT WENT!! ....awww crap the power just came back on... curse you electric people who fixed our power line years ago. >.<

op..there is that crashing again..I wonder if J2B is falling to chaos..

...well I have discovered what the crash was! I went downstairs and learned that a branch broke through our carport!!! :P

I Believe In Magic

These are magic years...

and therefore magic days...

and therefore magic moments. 

 ~Anonymous

Magic. 

Its everywhere, hidden in every part of our lives.  Its a part of every single thing God has every made.  All we have to do is be able to see it. 

To see the magic in a story, in a place, in a dream.

The magic of notes dancing softly to our ears, or the magic of words painted across a page

The magic of threads woven together in complete support of eachother.

The magic of personalities. 

The magic of unexpected poems, of people you can talk to anytime about anything and never leave without a laugh, of the looks between people who know the exact patterns of each other's brains, of friends who have always, always been there, of people who whole heartedly support your grandest schemes for your life.

The magic of a family who loves eachother and the Lord.

The magic of some "Fake Luck" taped into a card.

The magic of seven simple words: "I love you, Becfola. Anything is possible."

The magic of a big borther's words to his little sister.

The magic of family, related or not.

The magic of rain, sun, clouds, fog, wind, day, night, heat, cold, snow, water, ocean.

The magic of friendship.

The magic of love.

But most of all, the magic of God.

Forgot about this...

So, I wrote this at the end of august, and forgot to post it! Opsies!