Only Dull People Are Brilliant At Breakfast

Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast. Do I know what this means? Not a clue.
All I know are the memories, the ideas, and the dreams that go along with it. And for me, that is all I need.


It is six days till Christmas. I can't believe it. The past year has gone by so fast, and yet so very slow. Its hard to believe what my life was like a year ago. So much has changed. I have changed. I have learned alot over the past year, and not for lack of reason. Its hard to fathom all that has happened over a simple twelve months, the life I have now is a world apart from back then. I'm not sad it changed though, its all been for the good. Despite a lot of sad changes its been amazing to see how life works out. Our God truly is amazing. He has taught me so much about his control over every second of our lives.


Something that has become extremely apparent in my life this year is His impeccable planning abilities. I've learned that when the things you don't expect happen its so much more beneficial than the things you did think of. I've learned that when you lose the things you thought you needed most, it often turns out you didn't really NEED them forever after all. If you need it He puts it in your life, whether its to encourage, teach a lesson, or inspire. And, if its not in your life, you don't need it.


I also learned how wonderful one of the scariest things is. Growing up. As much as I've always dreamed of when I was older, the older and older I get the scarier it becomes. I've changed so much over the past year, and I've learned alot about myself. It was scary, but it was worth it, and I'd never trade it for anything. I know that the next year holds just as much change for me, and while it still scares me to death, it also excites me more than I can say.

I've lost dreams this year, I've let them go, and hopefully those beautiful moments float to someone else's mind because they deserve a home, and they got me through so, so much. But even after letting go of those dreams parts of them, bits and pieces will stay with me forever. I know they will. They made me the person I am today and for that I thank them wholeheartedly.


I've, of course, gotten new dreams this year. Magical dreams, even more far-fetched, but maybe, just maybe alot more reachable too. These dreams are my life. They are my gift. And I will hold them dear.


I've made so many wonderful friends this year, and I love them all dearly. They are what bring a smile on my face from day to day.


Its been crazy year, with alot of ups and downs but in the end, its the year I needed. Its the inspiration to my life. Its what made me, me. And its a blessing I would never give up.

To My Maid

Now, I would like to mention a very important subject.

You see I have realized that tomorrow is the birthday of an incredibly special person in my life. And in honor of Miss Hannah's birthday I would like to take this moment to say just how amazing she is.

There is so much about her that I am thankful for and I know that this little note will not even scratch the surface, but I will try none the less. :P

Hannah Hoover.

You are my best friend.

You have always, always been there for me, no matter if it was to make me laugh, to give me amazing advice about life and how to live it honoring the Lord, or if it was to dance with me, to take pictures with me, to watch movies, to listen to music, to ride bikes, to dream amazing, grand, unfathomable dreams.

You are the person who knows my brain better than anybody else.

You are the person that is ALWAYS on not only the same page but the same sentence as I am.

The closest thing to a fight we have EVER had was whether or not sci-fi is awesome or not.

You are my inspiration, you make me work harder, whine less, love more, and an all around better person.

You love your family and your Lord above all else.

You hate lies and violence.

You always stand firm in what you believe.

You take care of everyone else, and I am so happy to get to take care of you.

You have so many talents, from music to cooking to acting to your writing.

You are an incredible thinker.

You are very smart.

You can also be extremely unobservant and oblivious to very basic common know things.

I will NEVER let the fact that you thought putting ties on balloons would make them float go.

 Your outlook on life is amazing.

The word "plethora" will always remind me of you.

You are your generation's hippie, and you always will be.

I love everything you write.

I love knowing exactly what clothes you love.

 I love that moment when you look to me requesting my approval of clothes you know don't work for you, and I love telling you that they don't.

I love that I am one of the few people you will get "annoyed" with when they don't actually deserve it.

I love not putting up with you when you are "annoyed."

I love it when you know I'm right and go off mumbling bitterly to yourself.

I love your love of all things Star Wars, Lord of the Rings, Braveheart, and The Godfather.

I love how well our lives fit into the movies we watch.

 I love all the things you've taught me.

I love it when you cook me food.

 I love the amazing nicknames we think up.

 I love the amazing stories and moments we create and experience that could only ever come from us.

I love how obsessive we get about things.

I love the cds you make me every Christmas.

 I love and hate the way you know exactly how to mess with my brain.

 I love being able to see how much we've both grown up.

 I have loved growing up with you.

I love that you want just as many dogs as I do.

I LOVE the looks we give each other and how much we can say in one glance. I

 love sharing the same dream.

I love our relationship.

I love you.

Happy birthday my most loved maid.

Ideas

Okay, first things first. I have fallen in LOVE with The Avett Brothers radio on pandora.  It is phenomenal. Listen to it, you may hate it but you may love it, cause it is definitely lovable.  The Avett Brothers have most definitely found their way onto my Christmas wish list!

So the past weekend I have been working nonstop on one particular gingerbread house, in fact I spent somewhere around 20 hours on it.  Now if that seems slightly obsessive to you, you're probably not that far off base.  But, the whole reason that I spent that much time is simply because I had an idea. 

Just an idea, a thought and a picture in my mind.  I imagined a perfect little gingerbread doll house, with a slanted roof and perfect little windows in the front, and perfect little rooms with all the bells and whistles in the back.  I get these ideas all the time, there are so many things I wish I had the time and the resources to do, and those ideas make me wish I could get back all that time I've wasted doing nothing. 

I have these ideas, but alot of the time those ideas are only ever ideas.  But sometimes, sometimes I get to take those ideas out of my head and make them real.  I wish I could tell you how incredibly exciting that is, how exciting it is when you see something in your head become real right beneath your hands. 

That excitement is why I can spend 20 hours on a gingerbread house that is just gonna be thrown away.  That excitement is why I can sit and work every second that isn't dedicated to other responsibilities.  That excitement is why I can LOVE every moment of it.  I personally don't look at it as obsession, though my logical side of me says it is, I simply did it because every second I spent working on it I loved and every second made me love that I am able to create things. Creating things brings so much joy to my day, and I am so thankful that I have the abilities to have that joy. 

When ideas become reality it is a beautiful thing.

Realizations Having To Do With Boggarts And The Answer No

I have recently come to two realizations in my life.

The first has to do with fear.  You see ever since I learned of boggarts in the wonderful world of Harry Potter I have always thought about what a boggart would turn in to for me. I've always had the question "What if you don't know what your greatest fear is?"  I always new mine wasn't anything like spiders or even Snape, and I always wished that Boggarts actually existed cause then I could find out what my greatest fear really was.  While this thought wasn't all that important in my life I've never really have been able to get rid of it.  But just recently another thought popped into my head, and I realised that the thought was quite accurate.  I realized that alot of the time my greatest fear was reality.

Now I'm not exactly sure what shape reality would take if I ever were to cross paths with a boggart, but that's not really important. The important part is that I finally have some kind of answer for the question I've had for such a long time.

Now let me explain what I mean by my greatest fear is reality. 

I have always been one to dream big. I am always, always making stories and moments and memories up.  I don't think my imagination has ever stopped creating things, ever.  And when I create these stories in my mind I get so attached to them, to the emotions, and the loyalties, and the dreams that go along with them.  They are the things that make every day of my life exciting.  And I do feel that those stories, and the ridiculous amount of blessings God has given me, are what has made my life so happy.  They are the reason that I try not to get upset about the little things, the stories make me realize that the little thing don't matter so much.  They are the reason that I am so much less angry than I used to be, and they are the reason that I never really have been depressed about anything.(don't get me wrong I've been upset lots of times, I just haven't REALLY been depressed)  God has blessed me so much with giving me these stories to get by each day, and he has blessed me with so many things, and people to inspire those stories so that they never end.

While I do realize that I live everyday in the real world, and I know that those stories are just that, stories.(don't worry I'm really not as crazy as you think) I still fear losing them, I fear waking up one day and realizing that the world is an ugly place, that the real world never goes along with the one I've created in my head. I'm afraid that I'll come to the conclusion that none of my dreams will ever come true. I'm afraid of losing my thoughts and dreams and creativity, and I'm afraid of losing my outlook on the world.   And I guess in a large part I'm afraid of losing who I am.  I love being the artsy type, I love that while I understand the importance of reason, and use it in my decisions, reason isn't the only or(at least not always) the most important thing I use to make decisions.  I love seeing the world through the eyes of my imagination, not the eyes of logic and reason and reality.  I love that I can see the beauty and the wonder of something that so many people write off as weird and something from a crazy person.  I love being my own unique person in my own unique world and I never wanna lose that.

Secondly after having a conversation with my father about one of my latest schemes for my life he said a very common phrase to me that brought me to my second conclusion.  I never do take no for an answer.  At least I never take no to actually mean no.  When I hear "No" I really hear "That won't work out" and then I figure out why it won't work out and then I try and fix the parts that won't work so that "No" turns to "Yes" or "That will work out."  While I feel like this will help me for alot of things in life I know that now it really frustrates my parents and is something I should probably work on... hm.


lastly, I am now going to start reading Alice's Adventure's In Wonderland & Through the Looking Glass. We have a really old version of it, and I'm really excited about what I will think of it!

Well, I'm off to go see what I can do about turning that previously mentioned "No" into a "Yes"

Goodbye Leaves, Pumpkins, and Rain. Hello Snow, Hot Chocolate, and Christmas!

Well, the time has come.  As it does every year, fall has passed away and winter has set in.   It's so clear and exciting as I sit here with my newly purchased Celtic Thunder Christmas CD playing and a unusual amount of snow outside my window! I have had an amazing fall this year and I am so excited about the winter to come... a few days ago the next months did not seem inviting at all but now with all the winteryness around me and an amazing fall behind me I am really looking forward to the next couple of months.

I have had an absolute fantastic fall this year.  While the weather was depressingly sunny, and I really did miss the rain there still has been a ton to rejoice about!! I started my very last year of school at home, something I have been dreaming about for a VERY long time!  I sometimes think I should be kinda sad about that, but in all honesty, I'm not.  Don't get me wrong I have LOVED being homeschooled and wouldn't change that at all, but I am also very excited about going to college, especially for fashion. I've been thinking about college ever since I was an eight year old little girl and couldn't go to private school with my neighbors, the plan has always been that if I couldn't go to private school then I'd go to college and do running start just like my older siblings!

I also turned sixteen this fall, and I happily got to celebrate that with my best friend coming to stay with me for the week.  That was great fun and we had alot a grand time taking lots of pics, walking the dogs, and visiting Seattle.

  

 And that's not all that has happened this fall.  I got to go see Celtic Thunder live for my very first concert, and I got to go to that with both of my best friends, the two people that I would want most to accompany me to that first concert.

Also, we got my new best friend, a new dishwasher.  If you are very close to me and have spent time with me at my house you know just how exciting that is! It was quite the hassle getting a dishwasher that actually works, but it was SO worth it to get one. I am still in heaven about it.

And most exciting of all, this fall I became an aunt to two adorable twin boys named Adam and Oliver.  They are the first babies of the Spears family and we are all so very excited about it.

Yes, yes they are the most adorable twin boys you have ever seen!

And now, as I have bid fall adieu, I say a hearty hello to my favorite season of all, winter.

And it has already turned out to be an exciting season!!!  It's already unusually cold and snowy, and I already have some great memories of this winter.  Like me and my dad being two of only four people crazy enough to go see Harry Potter 7 in the middle of a snow storm, watching the last showing before they closed the theater all together. Like sledding down my driveway on a laminated piece of poster board, and like waking up to 24 degree weather and ice on the INSIDE of my window.  Not to mention the all around winter feel in the air. I love it all. 

And now, a wintery song/poem to send you off with.

Oh! pat, the bitter day when you bravely parted from us,

The mother and myself on the cruel quays of Cork :

When you took the long kiss, and you gave the faithful promise

That you'd soon bring us over wid you at New York

But the times they grew worse through the sild, weary winter,

And my needles all we had to find livin' for us two ;

While the mother drooped and drooped till I knelt down forenint her

And closed her dyin' eyes, dear--but still no word of you.

The the neighbors thought you false to me, but I knew you better,

Though the bud became the leaf, and the corn began to start ;

And the swallow she flew back, and still sorra letter,

but I sewed on and on, Pat, and kep' a stout heart.

Till the leaves they decayed, and the rook and the starlin'

Returned to the stubble, and I'd put by enough

To start at long last in search of my darlin'

Alone across the ocean so unruly and rough.

Until at the end, very weak and very weary,

I reached the overside, and started on my search ;

But no account for ever of Patrick for his Mary,

By advertisin' for you, dear, or callin' you in church.

Yet still I struggled on, though my heart was almost broken

And my torn entirely on the rough, rugged stone ;

Till that day it came round, signs by and by token,

The day five year that we parted you, mavrone!

Oh ! the snow it was sweepin' through the dark, silent city

And the cruel wind it cut through my thin, tattered gown.

Still I prayed the good God on his daughter to take pity ;

When a sudden, strange light shone forenint me up the town.

And the light it led on till at last right opposite

A large, lonely house it vanished, as I stood,

Wid my heart axing wildly of me, was it, oh, was it

A warnin' of ill or a token of good ?

When the light kindled up agin, brighter and bigger,

And the shadow of a woman across the windy passed ;

while close, close, and closer to her stole a man's figure,

And I fainted, as you caught me in your true arms at last.

Then Pat, my own Pat. I saw that you were altered

To the shadow of yourself by the fever on the brain !

While "Mary, Mary darlin'," at last your lips the faltered,

You've given your poor Patrick his mem'ry back again."

And the good, gentle priest, when he comes, is never weary

Of sayin', as he speaks of that light in the snow,

"The Lord heard your prayer, and in pity for you, Mary,

Restored Pat the raison that he lost long ago."



Windstorms

I would like to say that I have a very special place in my heart for windstormes. :) ...and rain, thunder, lighting, or anything else that goes along with it... I have a feeling I wouldn't like tornados as much but who knows!!

Anyway, I just through and through love them!  I love the sound of the wind whislting through the tree branches, I love the periodic clunks of the branches hitting my cealing, I love the excitment of your lights flickering on and off, or the excitment of having no power whatsoever! And of course the thrill you get everytime a powerful gust of wind shoves its way through the trees(often times knocking them over) :D It's excitment and it's comfort! Yeah thats right comfort!  When I hear these sounds, when I feel that wind, and when I see those branches dancing back and forth in the wind it makes me feel home, and it makes me feel save. (Huh ironic right as I wrote this I heard a very large abnoraml crashing sound outside...uh oh..thats a siren..o.O) It's my favorite thing about the change of a season, and happilly it happens almost everytime the seasons start to change around here. It makes me love where I live and it makes me sad when I hear that wind soften away for good. It's simply the most wonderful time of the year!  (bahahaha Christmas reference!!! ...yeah I know I'm not funny but laugh along anyway..you know you want to.)

AH! THERE IT WENT!! ....awww crap the power just came back on... curse you electric people who fixed our power line years ago. >.<

op..there is that crashing again..I wonder if J2B is falling to chaos..

...well I have discovered what the crash was! I went downstairs and learned that a branch broke through our carport!!! :P

I Believe In Magic

These are magic years...

and therefore magic days...

and therefore magic moments. 

 ~Anonymous

Magic. 

Its everywhere, hidden in every part of our lives.  Its a part of every single thing God has every made.  All we have to do is be able to see it. 

To see the magic in a story, in a place, in a dream.

The magic of notes dancing softly to our ears, or the magic of words painted across a page

The magic of threads woven together in complete support of eachother.

The magic of personalities. 

The magic of unexpected poems, of people you can talk to anytime about anything and never leave without a laugh, of the looks between people who know the exact patterns of each other's brains, of friends who have always, always been there, of people who whole heartedly support your grandest schemes for your life.

The magic of a family who loves eachother and the Lord.

The magic of some "Fake Luck" taped into a card.

The magic of seven simple words: "I love you, Becfola. Anything is possible."

The magic of a big borther's words to his little sister.

The magic of family, related or not.

The magic of rain, sun, clouds, fog, wind, day, night, heat, cold, snow, water, ocean.

The magic of friendship.

The magic of love.

But most of all, the magic of God.

Forgot about this...

So, I wrote this at the end of august, and forgot to post it! Opsies!

This is me. My point of view. My world.

This is me. This is me venturing into the blogging world!

Its not to show off my extraordinary writing skills, cause they're far from it, and its not to enlighten you with my all knowing view of the world and everything in it, because in all reality mine is a simple and ignorant one.

I don't want your judgments, and I'm not asking you to listen. I'm just sharing my dreams, expressing my emotions, and most of all asking my questions. The questions I don't know the answers to, the questions I think about most, and most of the time the questions probably only God can really answer for me.

So with the sound of a classical tenor singing Remember Me in the background I'll attempt to show you my point of view of my world so that maybe, somehow, with God's help, we can make some sense of it all.