Two weeks.

Disclaimer: this is written on my dad's iPad, so if there are a lot of typos, I am sorry.

Well, I made it to Cali in more or less one piece.

Its been just about two weeks since my best friend and I rolled into Corona, California in the dark after an equally exhausting, beautiful, happy, and frustrating three day road trip down the Oregon and Californian coast. Which for some unknown reason we decided to video tape, and if I ever figure out how to edit the clips(problems include knowing how and the new realizations that watching large amounts of home video makes me really, really, REALLY noxious. Fun stuff.) I, for other unknown reasons, will be posting them here. However, until then, I will settle with filling you all in on my past two weeks of Californian life.

Recap:

Sunday night the 25th arrived in California.
Monday evening the 26th best friend flew away back home.
Tuesday the 27th five million and one boxes were unloaded off of a massive semi and stacked floor to ceiling in my garage and throughout my house.
Wednesday through Friday afternoon the 28th-30th were spent swimming in a sea of packing paper, stacking dishes, moving boxes, and cutting through tape.
Friday evening the 30th dad bought us all brand new, shiny, and well functioning hybrid bikes.
Saturday the 31st it was off to Huntington Beach with all the rollerbladers, tourists, families, and clean surfers with perfectly trimmed beards(what is this?) for some quality family time bike riding followed by a four mile skate on my part.
Sunday the 1st, my first time at our new church where the people are impressively friendly. Like, really impressively friendly. Followed by a trip to Long Beach for lunch. Finally, a place that makes sense to me!
Monday through Friday the 2nd-6th were for job searching and the ever present battle of unpacking.

Evaluation:

If I said it was all sunshine and happiness, it would be a lie, but if I said it was all doom and gloom that would be a lie too. It's not easy leaving your home behind to go to a place you know nothing about and just plain and simple, do not understand. It's weird going from months of not seeing your parents to them being basically the only people you talk to. While everyone else is talking about rain and pumpkin spice lattes, I am laying on the ground complaining to my parents and pretty much dieing because its 99 and humid. And frankly Augustana, going somewhere where no one knows your name is overrated.

Life goes on. You're far away when heartbreak hits, when goodbyes become real, when accomplishments are achieved, and when memories are made. But it's not a bad thing. God put me here and for that I am thankful.

I am of the opinion that all things are solved by God. (Note: not with God, by God, by the grace of God. Often by God through us, but ultimately by God.) I am also of the opinion that most things can be solved by the magic of twinkle lights and Avett Brothers on the radio. God has a plan for me. I'm in that plan, and its full of magic.

My life is good. My parents love me and each other and God. There's an extremely nice pool in my backyard. Tonight, I officially got settled in my room, complete with a real closet, an old colorful crochet blanket, twinkle lights bordering my ceiling, and a great big beautiful window. Netflix and Pinterest are a honest blessing. Bike riding with my dad is happy. Skate shops are everywhere and always remind me of my favorite memories and my favorite people. Habitat for Humanity stores are full of hidden Treasure. My two besties are officially better than yours, we have group text. My dog got really attached to me that whole month we were homeless(staying at my sister's). Community groups start at church soon, and my parents informed me there is one in which the kids from Biola go(yay people my age! I might make friends!!). Finally, as a dear soul promised me, it's all an adventure.

So to finish off my two week anniversary, I am a lover of lists. Here are a few.

Things I miss:

Hats.

My sister. Staying at her house for a month was wonderful.

Things I hate:

Humidity

My demon light that is on some kind of timer which turns the light and fan on and off on its own accord whenever it feels like it, day and night. Along with the crappy switcher that goes with it and never works. (Help me.)

Conclusions I have come to:

California confuses me.

The girls here need more No Maintenance Mondays.

All of our art is of the Pacific Northwest.

Things I am extremely thankful for:

The Avett Brothers. (Seriously, who wants to fly here for my birthday and go see them with me??)

My parents. Thank goodness they are my friends because they're all I got.

My bible on my bedside table.

Bike rides.

My dog. He makes life considerably less lonely.

Big signs that say "All That Jazz".

Twinkle lights. Always and forever twinkle lights.

Happy Friday everybody.
Godspeed & sweet dreams.
Bek.

Back Again

Hello there blogging world...

Its been a while. Over a year to be specific.

 Many, many things have happened since I last made use of this space, and I have decided to revisit for a couple of different reasons. 

Reason number one: I miss writing.

I work as a writing tutor, yet I never write. This makes me sad, and I am going to fix it. 

Reason number two: I'm moving.

Yesterday we accepted an offer on our house, and in about a month I will move away from the home that, except for three great months last summer, I have spent my entire life in. I will be moving with my parents to Southern California. A place I have never been, where I know no one, have no job, and have no school. So, I have decided to start writing again to share a little bit of my life with all of the people I am leaving behind. 

I probably won't write about many important things, and my thoughts aren't always clear. But I want to work at developing my impressions and viewpoints about the life God has created around me, and I want to share that life with all of the people I love. This is what I'm going to try to do here. So anyway, wish me luck. 

Happy Wednesday my loves.

Godspeed & Sweet Dreams

~Bek

Praying time.

Let me tell you a story...

One night about three months ago I was having a phone conversation with someone I often refer to as my best friend. She was telling me all about the display for a Christian camp that was covered in pictures of the one I often refer to as my brother. We had both brilliantly come up with the idea of working at this camp all summer so that we would have a chance to get away from home for a bit and could for once in our life be close to one another.

At this time the best friend was attending bible school at a place called Cannon Beach. We were set and excited for attending this camp, but as time progressed and we kept putting off the application process.

While all of this was happening she was constantly getting pestered by her bible school friends to stay and work at the beach all summer instead. Then during one of our many conversations I had a thought. One good question of a thought.

Why DON'T we work at the beach this summer?

Needless to say, a summer spent by the ocean was a bit more appealing than chasing after hundreds of children and living in a dorm packed full of teenagers. It was decided.

Somehow our parents agreed, the best friend found a classmate renting a house and looking for roommates at a simple $275 a month, and over spring break we were on a mission for employment. By the end of the week I had become the future employee of Cannon Beach Clothing Co.

A summer at the beach it was.

Now for the bump in the road. Since this time, as the result of bad timing and some miscommunications I have no place to live.

A job + no place to live = problem.

The best friend was happily able to find two great jobs and an amazing place to live. She is currently spending her days backing up trailers, selling home decor with an amazing group of ladies, and learning to longboard down the streets of both CB and Seaside. Happy days galore.

But unfortunately, I am not able to stay with her based off of my minor status and some sort of liability that creates? I don't know what that's about either.

So as a result there is now a sort, handwritten and humble note posted in the middle of the local church's community board with my name and number on it. I'm hoping that I will find a good place to live with one of the families located in the town. Otherwise my summer plans will change to one filled with screen-printing classes at school and days working at Panera, not a necessarily bad outcome but not the beach either.

Funnily enough, I'm not really worried about it, it just is what it is. It's like I have an amount of peace over the whole ordeal, and I know that if I go, or if I stay it will be a good summer. Maybe it has to do with the study of Nehemiah we are having in Sunday School. Hearing about his amazing example of not only prayer, but action and plan and leadership is extremely motivating and a great comfort to me.

Anyway, I have till the end of May to find somewhere to live or I have to let Cannon Beach Clothing Co. know I won't be coming after all. Until then its prayer, day in and day out, and I would really appreciate a prayer or two from all you wonderful people!

Thanks for listening to that novel of a story.

Happy Friday my loves.

Godspeed and Sweet Dreams. <3 Becfola

Blessings

In this moment, with the sunshine beaming through my window and after a night filled with seven hours of good sleep(following a night of two hours) I can't help but feeling uncommonly blessed.

I am blessed with a wonderful world God made for us and the variety of life it is home to.

I am blessed with good food. Avocado, goat cheese and spinach grilled cheese sandwiches to be specific.

I am blessed with the challenges that God puts in front of me everyday. They help me face the world I live in and  to stop running away or hiding from so many things. 

I am so very blessed with the gift God has given me, and that I get to go to school and create goats out of crayons.  That I still have so much to learn. That everyday he teaches me a little more about beauty, and that someday I will be able to create things that I might be just a little more proud to present in His honor.  

I am blessed because of the color in the world. Color that I get to use it to bring life to every moment.

I am blessed with amazing people. With the smiles and the love that they create. People are what bring me out of the walls I build up, my fear is what shuts me in.

I am blessed with writing classes that make me a stronger thinker and that remind me how much I love clothes. 

I am blessed with Sunday School lessons on Nehemiah filled with prayer, planning, faith, and countless conversations on Zac Efron, movies, and Jackson family wall building techniques. 

I am blessed with music, future concerts with friends or fathers, and friends playing in future concerts.

I am blessed with a family I love, that forgive me when I treat them awful.

I am blessed with an amazing soul of a bestfriend who keeps me at least a little bit sane as my world falls apart around me.

I am blessed with a messy room that in all its chaos is still full of love and tokens cheering me on through every work filled day. 

I am blessed by every amazing artist I have had the opportunity to learn from. I learn so much from them without even realizing.

 I am blessed by documentaries that are full of the most inspirational people who give me the hope that I can live out every dream that God has given me and still go to church to worship His name every Sunday morning for the rest of my life. 

I am blessed with a far away bestfriend who come home in five weeks. 

No day is filled with only sunshine and daisies. Everyday, every moment has a bump in the road. But turning around and facing my problems, accepting them, giving them to God and then moving forward has let me see the love and direction found all around me. 

Happy Wednesday my loves.

Godspeed and sweet dreams. <3 Becfola.

California Sun

Growing up everybody seems to be going along more or less the same road.  We move at different paces and we hit different bumps along the way, but we're all headed in the same general direction.  But before we've been on that road long it all changes.  Our original road ends and about five million more pop up in its place, and we are given the task of picking which one we will go down.  Intimidating much? It tells a lot about a person when they get the chance to choose, and a lot of the time they take roads you never would have guessed.. or you would have guessed but that take them far away from you nonetheless. Its not easy and a lot of the time it takes people along time to make a decision...

Not me.

I have been one of those people fortunate enough to get a few good hints and find a spyglass along the way, I was one of the ones able to get a glimpse of what was ahead and start preparing accordingly.  So I have.

For about five years now I've had it in my head that I've wanted to do fashion design, and well for those five years there hasn't been a day that I've ever doubted that it was what I wanted to do.  I started to look at art schools around here a while back(I like to plan ahead) but quickly determined that it would be far out of my price range.  I still definitely wanted to purse fashion though, and last year I started looking into what was available at a community college level.  That's where I happened upon FIDM(The Fashion Institute of Design and Merchandising), or rather God placed it in front of me.

I was visiting a college in Tacoma, checking out a pre-fashion design program they had, and while I was there and they had a representative from the college come give us a little info on the college.  After she gave her speel and named a price tag that was half of the local colleges I was captivated..

That was about six months ago... After that I researched FIDM a bit more and always had it as the idea to work toward, but it was never anything definite. But this past month they had a big information session in Bellevue for all the prospective students in Washington.  After going to that and listening to the alumni speak, I knew that this is where I feel I need to go, this is where I feel called to go. God has put this school in my life and it is an amazing school at that!

Two days after Bellevue I met with one of the heads of administrations, as she was in town for a couple days, talked details and I now have my application.  I have an advisor at the school, I'm taking my SATs in the beginning of December, and once I get my scores and finish up a portfolio to send in, I will have my application turned in.

I never thought I'd ever go to California, and I never thought I would be able to afford a college as nice as this, but with hard work, scholarships, a little help, and a lot of God I really believe it will happen. Life is exciting, and if this works out it will be such a great chapter in my life, and I'm going to learn so incredibly much!

So, Lord willing, I will be going to the LA campus when I graduate community college for a fifteen month program in fashion design!

http://fidm.edu/en/Visit+FIDM/Launch+Virtual+Tour/ Check it out!!! :D (LA campus)

Godspeed and sweet dreams..

Xx Becfola

Worry or Believe

As much as I will always hate to admit it, and always be in denial of it, I worry.  I worry quite a lot actually.

I worry about the future, the unknown... I'm afraid of what could happen or rather what couldn't happen.  I have so many dreams, they're what motivate my every move in that crazy old game called life.  I put so much stock in these dreams and because of that I never-ever-ever stop worrying about them.  I can never get the thought "They're probably not going to come true Becca, they're far to much of a long shot." out of the back of my mind, every time I think about my future I hear those words.  No matter how many times I come up with sound logical reasons why it'll happen, or tell myself that it has to happen because I feel so close to it or so strongly about it, or how many signs I point out to my head that suggest the dreams are right around the corner I can never quite believe.

Well I'm done. No more worrying for me.

I have recently been able to see that when God steps up to the plate, when He is on your team, you can win any game. I was able to witness the dreams of someone who is very close to my heart come true.  By being able to see how God helped that person every step of the way, I finally realized that with His help you can make anything happen.. He can make anything happen.  I repeat. ANYTHING   ...I have this slightly unfortunate tendency to "know" really obvious things that I've been told, or have read thousands of times but never ever REALIZE those things ...It makes life a little interesting sometimes... but anyway the point is that I have finally realized that idea I've been told so many times. I'm done worrying about weather or not it'll happen because I've seen it happen, because He made it happen. Most important if I just sit and worry I KNOW those dreams won't come true, God won't make it happen unless I'm working toward it. So I'm going to get off my butt, work harder than I possibly could by myself, and rely completely on God.  And that plus a bit of prayer means those dreams can come true.  Every single one of them. It's not unlikely, its possible.

I finally believe, and I finally refuse to listen to that voice.

A few words to help remind me along the way of discovering my dreams:

"Go confidently in the direction of your dreams, live the life you've always imagined"

"If we all did the things we are capable of doing we would literally astound ourselves." -Thomas Edison

"Break the monotony. Do something strange and extravagant!"

"Only dull people are brilliant at breakfast."

"There's a boy next to me and he never will be anything but a boy at the bar
And I think he's the tops, he's where everything stops
How I love to love him from afar

When he walks right past me I finally see on this barstool I can't stay
So I'm taking my frown to a far distant town
On an island in the blue bay" -Far Away by Ingrid Michealson

"The man who travels a mile each day may get around the world at last."

"l'arte d'arrangiarsi" translation: The art of making something out of nothing.

"Sometimes in our lives
We all have pain
We all have sorrow
but if we are wise
we know there's always tomorrow

Lean on me
When you're not strong
And I'll be your friend
I'll help you carry on
For it won't be long
Till I'm gonna need
Somebody to lean on...

...If there is a load that you have to bear
That you can't carry
I'm right up the road
I'll share your load
If you just call me" -Lean On Me

...And I saved the longest one for last.. yes you should read it all.

Can't

Can't is the worst word that's spoken;
Doing more harm here than slanders and lies;
On it is many strong spirit broken,
And with it many good purpose dies.
It springs from the lips of the thoughtless each morning
And robs us of courage we need through the day:
It rings in our ears like a warning
And laughs when we falter and fall by the way.

Can't is the father of feeble endeavor,
The parent of terror and halfhearted work;
It weakens the efforts of artisans clever,
And makes of the toiler an indolent shirk.
It poisons the soul of the man with a vision,
It stifles in infancy many a plan;
It greets honest toiling with open derision
And mocks at the hopes and the dreams of a man.

Can't is a word none should speak with out blushing;
To utter it should be a symbol of shame;
Ambition and courage it daily is crushing;
It blights a man's purpose and shortens his aim.
Despise it with all of your hatred of error;
Refuse it the lodgement it seeks in your brain;
Arm against it as a creature of terror,
And all that you dream of you someday will gain.

Can't is the word that is foe to ambition,
An enemy ambushed to shatter your will;
its prey is forever the man with a mission
And bows but to courage and patience and skill.
Hate it, with hatred that's deep and undying,
For once it is welcomed 'twill break any man;
Whatever the goal you are seeking, keep trying
And answer this demon by saying: "I can."

Godspeed and sweet dreams.

Xx

Becca

Honey I'm Home

HELLO! I have returned!

After one furry little puppy chewed up the powercord to my "slightly" damaged hand-me-down laptop I have yet to post a new ramble on my not-so-much-but-still-extremely-exciting life.  You see, sitting in our cold office staring up at my dad's fairly large computer screen just isn't near as inspiring as sitting on my wonderfully comfy and warm bed.  End of story. But I am now back as I have a new powercord and my life has slowed down just enough to spend a little extra time on me!

It is sufficient to say that A LOT has changed since the last time I posted.  Its a little bit mind boggling all the change that has come over the past year... everything, and I mean everything, has changed.  And they haven't exactly been small changes, rather they've been those slightly earth shattering, life changing, chapter closing, personality altering sorts of changes that FORCE you to grow up quite a bit.  But fret not its all been for the good, and most of those changes came as smoothly as possible... mostly.

I'm not going to go into detail of all my life changes but rather I will just list a few of the more recent, and more pertinent ones.

Number one: I GOT A JOB!!!!!! :D I am now a cashier/barista/bakery associate/busboy at the one and only Panera Bread.  Its great, I love the people I work with, my boss is pretty stinkin awesome, I work more than I thought I'd be able to, and its a great place to work so that I can continue to pursue my dreams.  Yay God.

Number two:  I am(pretty much) finished with being a homeschooler! Co-op is out, I have a test to take in chemistry, and then I'm done. Then off to college in the fall for little baby Becca.

Number three: I'm taking all the change going on in my life, turning it into creative energy, and redecorating my room. I 'm VERY excited about this and have been wanting to do it for about a year now. I think now is the perfect time for it.  Its turned into a sort of therapy for me, a way to release all the nervous energy that comes from change, and a way to keep from bottling everything up inside.

So yup. That's my life work, sleep, art, sleep, and whole lot more work.  Oh! and I do have my permit but I have yet to drive anywhere, so that hasn't really affected anything... though there has been tell of my father taking me driving this weekend as he is on vacation! I shall update you on the outcome of that one.

Cheers all! I have missed this, and am happy to be back.


Finally, a little note to help you through the tough times, it sure helped me.

"Barns burnt down... now I can see the moon."